Please, don't leave me
by Pinguin1993
Summary: Songfic. April witnesses a fight between Raph and Leo that takes an unsuspected turn.


_This is my 23rd TMNT story. We're coming closer to the big 25th-surprise-story. But this won't be uploaded before every other story is completed. So it will take some time. A long time. xD Up to then, here's a songfic.  
A/N: No, the "time in the alley" can not be found in any episode. If it can, PM me. It was made up by me. But I bet it could have happened._

_Artist: P!nk  
Song: Please don't leave me  
Author: Pinguin1993

* * *

_**PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE ME  


* * *

**

_i don't know if i can yell any louder_

The first thing April O'Neil heard when she entered the 'abandoned' warehouse in Central New York City was shouting. Her hand hesitated in mid-air, her fingertips just about brushing the button of the old stone elevator. It sounded like Raphael and Leonardo were fighting again. With a sigh, she pressed the button and waited for the doors to open.

_how many times have i kicked you out of here  
or said something insulting?_

She stepped out of the elevator with a weary sigh. The shouting was even louder down here, in the Secret Lair, than it had been before. It came from the dojo. Now she could make out the words that were said, but she had yet to decide whether that was a good or a bad thing.

"_What _did you just call me?" That was Leonardo's voice, dangerously quiet and sharp as a knive.  
"Ya want me ta repeat it? Fine, ya're a- -" Raphael's angry yell was cut off with the sound of something heavy hitting ground. Almost involuntarily, pictures of a football game appeared before April's inner eye. Sounded like a bodycheck.

_i can be so mean when i want to be  
_

"Stupid- -" Raphael was not done yet. Another _thump _interrupted him, but obviously, he wouldn't stop before he finished his sentence. "- -narrow-minded- -" _Thump. _"-stick in the - -" This time, something crashed, and the red-haired girl flinched. She stood where she was for a second, not sure what to do, before she eventually decided to sit down on the couch and be silent.

_i am capable of really anything  
i can cut you into pieces_

"As I said earlier," another voice added to the mix, "you can choose between 'Spider Man 3' and 'Hulk'. Oh, and 'Batman Begins', of course. It's superhero movie night, after all." Michelangelo, the youngest of the four brothers and owner of the cheerful voice, appeared next to the paper door of the dojo. His blue-green skin along with the bright orange mask that covered his baby-blue eyes matched his mood perfectly. "Oh, hi, dudette! Is it time already?"

The whistling sound that April had long before memorized as blades slicing air was his only answer. Almost as if he had waited for his cue, Donatello shouted from his lab. "Put that blade away at once! I really have no intention to fix you two idiots up tonight!" The olive-green speaker peeked out of his laboratorium's door. His brown eyes found the red-haired girl's green ones and he smiled. "Hey, Ape."

_when my heart is broken_

"When I'm done wit' em, ya don't have anyt'in' ta fix left" Raphael said. His bulky frame appeared in the doorway, leaning against it in a menacing manner. Everything Raphael did looked dangerous if he wanted it to. And he wanted it to look dangerous most of the time. "He don't stand a chance." His grin reminded April of a grizzly bear before he attacks.

Leonardo was shorter than his younger brother by an inch, but no less muscular. And no less deadly. April had seen this katana-wielding warrior kill more enemies than she had ever dreamed of hearing of. It didn't change the fact that she trusted him. The blue-clad ninja's fighting style was more like that of a feline, coming from the shadows like the silent death. When he went past his brother and into the living room, though, every energy seemed to be drained from his body.

_please, please  
don't leave me  
please, please  
don't leave me (don't leave me)_

"Fine. Do whatever you want. I'm going topside."  
Even Michelangelo's grin vanished at these words. Not so much because they were rare- they were pretty much average by now- but because it was the wrong brother to say them. Raphael was the one going topside when things were rough. Leonardo was the one to stop him or go bring him back. Not the other way around.

_i always say how i don't need you  
but it's always gonna come right back to this_

The red-wearing ninja's amber eyes seemed to burn holes into his brother's shell for a second. He opened his mouth to say something, then thought the better of it and closed it again. Even he was confused. And when Donatello peeked out of his lab again and mouthed a 'what did you do?', he shrugged almost helplessly.

_please  
please_

His gaze wandered over Leonardo's shell. The formerly dark-brown horn was scratched and scarred from countless battles. An edge was missing- witness of their first encounter with Karai and her group of black ninja. The scars didn't stop at the edge of the shell, though. They continued up and down Leonardo's legs and arms. So many more than the rest of them bore.

_don't leave me_

"You shouldn't go out dere. 'S dangerous." He had said it involuntarily, April could see it in his face. Behind him, Donatello finally left his lab carrying a supply of cables (after Michelangelo had gotten his hands on an X-box, there was no space left for the DVD-player), but he kept his eye on the conversation, too.

"You didn't seem to particularly care about my health before", Leonardo answered. He didn't even turn around.

_how did i become so obnoxious?  
what is it with you that makes me act like this?_

The elevator was still down in the Lair from when April arrived. The heavy stone doors opened as soon as the button was pushed, soundless despite their age. And suddenly the red-haired woman was afraid. Afraid of Leonardo going topside alone. Because for some reason it made a difference when the Leader was up there. It was not Raphael.

Because Leonardo had so many enemies. So many that had sworn to kill him over the years. And so much more than the rest of them, even though he never asked for it. Even though he never did anything but to protect the ones he loved.

_i've never been this nasty_

Raphael tensed. April could see his muscles standing out through the deep green of his skin. She wondered briefly how one single person could build up that many muscles on his own. Someone so young at that. For all she knew, they were barely seventeen. Only teenagers.

For a second it looked like the red-wearing ninja was going to go after his older brother and stop him. Then a strange mixture of a snarl and resignation showed on his face. "Ya right," he said. "I don't." And he turned to leave.

_can't you tell that this is all just a contest?_

Leonardo suddenly straightened up. "Is that so" he whispered. And he still didn't turn around. Instead he made a step into the elevator. Away from Raphael. Away from them. And then another. And another. Further away.

_the one who wins will be the one that hits the hardest_

Michelangelo next to her tensed up as if he wanted to stand up and stop him. Donatello, who had laid down the cables he was carrying, focussed on the stone doors as if he could stop them from closing by sheer will. But neither of the two made their move yet. They were still watching. And April found herself wondering if she needed to step in herself.

_but baby, i don't mean it_

Leonardo turned around inside of the cabin. Raphael looked up, and for a moment their eyes met. Golden fire was blazing in Raphael's, but they were also full of emotions that April found impossibly to read. Leonardo's onyx ones were stormy and deep like the sea.

_don't mean it_

The tension in the air rose. Unspoken words passed between the two brothers, more and more, up to the point where she thought she could almost feel them herself, thick and strange and unknown. She had never had siblings and wondered if this was normal. She wanted them to say something. Anything was better than this silence.

_i promise_

Raphael was the first to look away. That was strange, because normally he wouldn't give in to anyone, especially not Leo, and especially not in something as simple as a staring match. But he did, and immediately Michelangelo relaxed on the sofa and Donatello went back to plugging in cables into the DVD-player and some of their TVs. Maybe that was some kind of apology. Like dogs don't look into the eyes of the Alpha. Even though April had a hard time picturing Raphael as a dog._  
_

_please, don't leave me_

The only one not being satisfied with that was Leonardo. But when they heard the elevator go topside with a faint _woosh, _it was already too late. Too late for Donatello dropping the cables in surprise. Too late for Michelangelo's shocked expression in those wide blue eyes. Too late for her to step in.

_please, don't leave me  
(don't leave me)_

Certainly too late for Raphael to finally take the step into the direction of where Leonardo had been moments ago. Moments ago, seconds too late. The red-wearing ninja took the step. But what was the point in that if his leader didn't see it?

April wondered if Leonardo ever saw those small steps Raphael made in his direction. Then she wondered why she was wondering about so much when all she really wanted was watching a movie.

_i always say how i don't need you_

"Holy shit," Michelangelo exclaimed loudly and then quickly covered his mouth, but no sound came from Splinter's room. Their Sensei's meditation had to be deep. So the youngest brother went on. "What exactly did you _do, _Raphie?" He craned his neck to look at the momentarily oldest brother in the room, but there was no reaction whatsoever. Only slowly, Raphael moved to look back. "I said somet'in' stupid" he muttered._  
_

_but it's always going to come right back to this_

April watched him wearily. Surely he wouldn't just tell them what exactly he had said. If it was that stupid, it would be kind of not helpful to tell them, right? Because they would be angry too? But then again, maybe that was how families worked. By telling each other everything.

She doubted that Raphael was the type of guy to tell his brothers everything. But then again, she wouldn't know. Despite what everyone seemed to think, she wasn't around them every second of their lives. She didn't know them all that much. Suddenly she wasn't sure if she wanted to know what exactly Raphael had said to Leonardo.

_please don't leave me_

"We argued, ya know. An' den he said dat I could never win 'gainst him in a fist fight an' I, well." He hesitated for a second, but his eyes never left Michelangelo's. "I kinda reminded him of dat time in da alley. Ya know." The other two didn't move, even though April didn't quite understand. The alley? What was he referring to? But the others seemed to know. Suddenly it was very quiet in the room.

"An' I said dad I was well capable of takin' care of myself an' dat I didn't need him an' he should just leave an' see fa himself." It all came out in a rush now, as if he weren't sure if he would still tell them if he thought about it for a second. "An' so he did. Shit." The last word was said as a matter-of-fact, not as a curse.

_i forgot to say aloud_

Still no one said a word. April found herself suddenly holding her breath. Like she wasn't there at all. She certainly felt as if she wasn't. No one even acknowledged her presence, and she briefly thought about maybe coughing or something to break this awkward silence and remind them. She also had a feeling that she shouldn't be seeing this. Like it was especially private. But she didn't. As if a spell bound her to the cushions.

"I guess you should go after him", Donatello finally said. Raphael was out the door before anyone else could blink.

_how beautiful you really are to me_

They came back about half an hour later, side to side. Michelangelo had only just finished the buttered popcorn, and Donatello had chosen to plug in the new Blue-Ray as well and then spent the rest of the time fixing the power outage in the Lair. They acted as if nothing had happened. April couldn't help but ask herself if this happened on a daily basis. Even Leonardo didn't seem to think about it anymore. Or maybe he did, and she just wasn't able to see the signs._  
_

_i can't be without you,  
my perfect little punching bag_

"Ya know, dat was pretty impressive wit' da shoulder roll", Raphael was saying when they entered through the sewer entrance. No one even asked how they got there in half an hour or where they'd been. The blue-wearing ninja only laughed. "It is pretty easy since you don't have that good a footing, Raphael. You should practice your defensive stances."

April thought that another fight was coming, but the hot-head only lightly punched his brother in the arm. "I let you hit me, ya know." They both laughed. "'S good fa ya ego."

_and i need you_

"My ego. Right." Leonardo raised an eye-ridge. "I totally owned you." Raphael growled, and the red-haired girl on the sofa worried for a second. She hadn't even moved in the time they were gone. Were they already fighting again? But then Raphael reached out, Leonardo grabbed his hand, turned and flipped his brother neatly over his shoulder. The bulkier ninja's shell crashed into the ground, and April vaguely remembered to have heard the sound before.

"See. I owned you." Leonardo seemed pleased with himself when he helped Raphael up. "An' I let ya again. Fa ya ego. Works." The brother's answer was another growl that the woman now identified as playful.

_i'm sorry_

"Oh, fearless", the red-wearing turtle said on the way to the bathroom. Leonardo turned and met his eyes. "About before, I'm so- - -" He was cut short by a wave of his brother's hand. "Don't mention it", he said. Raphael smiled. And that was that.

Later that night, somewhat crushed between Michelangelo's and Leonardo's shell on the sofa, with Splinter in his armchair and Donatello on the ground throwing popcorn at Raphael, April found herself wondering. She wondered about what it was like to have siblings, and some close as these four at that. And she wondered if she could ever possibly come to understand the way they just seemed to get along without many words. Through thick and thin. In good and in bad times.

_please, don't leave me  
(don't leave me)  
please, don't leave me  
(i always say)  
i always say how i don't need you  
but it's always going to come right back to this_

Well, she thought as she settled back into the cushions more comfortably watching Spiderman and Sandman in the 'Ultimate Battle', she was on the best way of finding out.

_please, please  
don't leave me_


End file.
